February, a month with days.


You may look at the title of this post and say, “Surely you aren’t serious?  That isn’t even trying.”  Well, I am and don’t call me Shirley.

I hope you took the time in that paragraph pause to think about that for a moment.

If not, maybe that second pause helped.  Okay, let’s get into this.  Yes, February is a month with days, 28 of them in fact…and every four years it has 29.  Beyond the obvious, February is also a month OF days.  Before we dive into exactly what those days are, let’s look at what month February is, outside of the obvious 2nd month of the calendar year.  February is also:

  • Library Lover’s Month
  • Hot Breakfast Month
  • Bird-Feeding Month
  • Bake for Family Fun Month
  • Cherry Month
  • North American Institute Month

With these in mind, put on your tall boots because we are about to get into the weeds…also because February 1st is Serpent Day and we don’t need any nasty bites along the way.  You all know about Presidents' Day, and hopefully not just because you get a day off from work, but this is about the “other days.”

If you are looking to party on February 2nd please come naked with a team of sled dogs and you will be wearing red (skin) because it will be so cold out.  Also, make sure you bring your marmot while also carefully carry your hedgehog, because it’s prickly and you’re naked. Finally, bring your tater tots and crepes, just don’t tell us where you stored them!

Yes, these days are all reasons to celebrate February 2:

  • Hedgehog Day
  • Crepe Day
  • Bubblegum Day
  • Working Naked Day
  • Marmot Day
  • World Wetlands Day
  • Sled Dog Day
  • Lung Leavin’ Day
  • Wear Red Day
  • Candlemas Day
  • Tater Tot Day

Okay, we don’t have the space for me to do this all month long so let’s just get a few days from the rest of the month out of the way, shall we?  February 3rd has Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, but heat it up since it is Hot Breakfast Month.  You can also partake in Take Your Child to the Library Day, which you should already have been doing since it is Library Lover’s Month and it is your job as a parent to instill in them a love of reading…it’s fundamental.

February 4th and 5th brings you Dump Your Significant Jerk Day (not sure if that means I will be single for the right or wrong reason) and Chocolate Fondue Day, what if you blend chocolate and Nutella (yes it is World Nutella Day as well) into your fondue?  You can kill two birds with one stone.  Oh and February 7th you have Send a Card to a Friend Day. Be a dear, skip the text and hand write a note to that pal of yours…if they are younger, do it in cursive and really throw them for a loop as they try to figure out what it says!  Don’t forget Wave All of Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day – as opposed to just that one…I see you, Karen.

I am so excited for February 8th because it is Laugh and Get Rich Day – I have been waiting all year for this day, I must have done it wrong last year so I am hoping to get it right this year.  If it works out I won’t be seeing you all anymore!  February 9th is chalk full of amazing days.  Let’s start off with Read in the Bathtub Day – Justin, if I’m not here it’s either because I am reading in the bathtub (all scrunched up and trying to keep all of me in the hot water…bathtubs suck for us bigger folk) or I might be home with a toothache because Toothache Day…and how does this even become a day?  Are Dentists everywhere hoping this will catch on?  Do they all have cruises to pay for?  What’s the deal?  One of the best reasons to be alive is Pizza Day.  Why this isn’t a national holiday I have no idea.  As a matter of fact, there will be a link to a change.org petition at the end of this article.  Our voices must be heard.  I think this is an idea that we could get full bipartisan support on.

February 10th cannot go unmentioned due to Plimsoll Day.  I would like to take a moment of silence for the man that made my life’s work, not only possible, but safer.  That’s right, as you all know it was Samuel Plimsoll that made commercial sailing safer.  We say thank you on this day to you, oh champion of safe sailing.  Our hats go off to you Safe Sailing Sam.

February 11th is a very confusing day with many mixed messages, first we are told it is World Marriage Day, and then they throw Make a Friend Day at us, only to then come at us like Satisfied Staying Single Day.  On top of it all we are celebrating marriage once again with Pro Sports Wives Day and relationship goals are again on full display as you are told to Get Out Your Guitar Day, we all know where that leads.  After all of this is said and done we are encouraged to “get over it” with Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Day.  So many conflicting reasons to get up today – that’s it I am staying home with my white shirt on and eating peppermint patties – you guessed it, those are what today is really all about: White Shirt Day and Peppermint Patty Day, refreshing comfort.

Did you know that February 12th is not only my anniversary, I’m sorry Kimmi, but it is also Darwin Day?  Feel free to celebrate this one, I’m on to better things, Darwin said so. This is also Clean Out Your Computer Day – no, it’s not your dirty browser history you need to worry about, it is actual dust bunnies inside your computer!  We mustn’t leave out the 13th because it's Extraterrestrial Culture Day (as if we didn’t have enough PC items to worry about already; I guess we are just getting out ahead of this one before it becomes an issue).  Please celebrate with us for Employee Legal Awareness Day (you got this one Ben, am I right?) and Madly in Love with Me Day – uh, this is everyday thank you.

Hey, look it’s Valentine’s Day already, but for all those that are alone have no fear for it’s time to party on a ferris wheel while giving blood and telling everyone about the issues behind pet theft and giving them an international book and a bag of cream filled chocolates.  Yup, it’s that kind of day:

  • Ferris Wheel Day
  • Donor Day
  • Pet Theft Awareness Day
  • International Book Giving Day
  • Cream-Filled Chocolates Day

You may know that the day after the love day it's Singles Awareness Day.  Trust me, I am aware of it too.  I see all your single parties and single lifestyles travelling all over the place without a care in the world…I’m watching you singles, and loathing your free-wheeling ways!  However, did you know that February 18th was Drink Wine Day – Fine, arm is twisted.  Making a second appearance it is  Eat Ice Cream For Breakfast Day…wait a minute…what’s going on here ice cream?  Why do you get two days?  Oh, wait, never mind, you’re ice cream.  In all fairness, Feb 3 is Ice Cream FOR Breakfast Day, this is clearly EAT Ice Cream For Breakfast Day.  You can also celebrate Pluto Day – It’s so nice this little guy gets a day.  I mean he deserves it, he has been bullied and dismissed over the years and quite frankly he is feeling a little left out.  Let’s give three cheers for Pluto!  Let him know that no matter what those crazy glue sniffing astronomers say, he is still a planet in our books…literally, tons of books say he is.

Let’s run through a few more:

  • February 19 – International Tug-of-War Day…bring it on Canadians!
  • February 20 – Handcuff Day – Hey, this is a family publication here, slow your roll, handcuffs.
  • February 22 – Margarita Day.  This day just got a whole lot better!
    • Chili Day – now it’s a party!
    • World Yoga Day – Namaste, now up into cobra…breathe…back into downward dog.  That’s it, stretch.
  • February 23 – Curling is Cool Day, (smh) you’re trying too hard Curling, go to the back of the line.
  • February 24 – Open the Bottle Night after all you gotta do what Em, Dre, and Fitty say.
    • World Bartender Day – it’s like they knew!
  • February 28 – Inconvenience Yourself Day.  Isn’t that every day?  I mean I would rather sit home in my underwear and play video games, but I inconvenience myself by going to work at an awesome job so I can afford to be inconvenienced. 

Oh, you think I left a day out do you, well, it isn’t even really a day, this year…fine, here it is:

February 29…this sad sack only comes around every four years, kind of like my crazy uncle looking for money and like I tell him, “Get outta here!”  Fine, you want to know what happens on February 29, 2020, well here it is:

  • Leap Year Day – wow, February, you really put some thought into that one.
  • Bachelor’s Day – Guys, this is how much you matter.
  • International Underlings Day – story of my life, and it only comes around once every 4 years – it’s why I pop Xanax like Tic-Tacs.

Go February!  If you want to see all the days I didn’t mention and all the glorious details behind them visit: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/.  Also, if you want to make Pizza Day a national holiday, sign my petition here: https://www.change.org/p/rob-bishop-make-pizza-day-feb-9-a-national-holiday-and-give-it-the-respect-it-deserves?recruiter=20022724&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition


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