Go Time.





It’s “Go Time!”  What time is that?  Funny you should ask.  What’s right around the corner?  Thanksgiving?  Too easy.  Think harder.  Not that hard.  Okay, you have it now.  Yes, it’s Christmas (shudder).  So, in preparation for Christmas what do we do?  Decorate?  Put up lights?  Shame on you, it’s WAY too early for that.  If that was really your answer, so help me…

There is something bigger at play here than your lights and trees and the decorations adorning your tables and mantles.  There is the real focal point of Christmas to consider.  There is one thing that can and should bring us all together, once a year, in a spirit of peace and love.  The true meaning of Christmas.  The one undeniable truth – Presents.


I’m not talking about giving them, okay I am, but still…  Let’s be honest, we all want to get them!  Or is that just me?  I can’t be the only selfish person here…can I?  I know that deep down we all love being on the receiving end of gifts, and I for one am not apologetic for that!  Hook me up with something amazing and I will love you forever, or at least until you leave, and I can stop faking that smile, looking right at you Aunt Hilda*.

Okay, enough about my issues, time to focus on the real topic of this short essay and that is, shopping.  It’s time to start preparing yourself for the hours of walking in the Mall, the miles of driving just to get that one item to secure the love and affection of someone like me.  Time to stock up on gas, drinks, and food to keep going for hours and days on end.  Make sure you sharpen your senses and strengthen your grip, you have Black Friday to endure, people to shove, blows to dodge.  It’s time to go full commando…NOT THAT COMMANDO!! Sickos.  Get your face paint on, put on your helmet, gird up your loins, it’s time for WAR.

Or, hear me out here, you could skip all that drama entirely.  You can do all of this while sipping on a nice warm drink or gulping down your favorite cocktail in the comfort of your favorite chair.  Warm up your clicking finger.  Massage your hands.  Insure the grip on your phone is just right.  Put on your reading glasses – not saying you need them – but I might.  Do all of this in preparation for, Cyber Monday.  Let's face it, they created Amazon for a reason.  Make it easy on yourself, act like a sane person and avoid people at all costs, shop online!  

No matter how you approach this special time of year or as I stated previously, the “getting season,” you need to be ready physically and financially.  Stock your checking account, make sure your credit card balances are low and your personal loans are approved on time.  Prepare yourselves, it is time to for battle, you have people like me waiting and we must be placated.

*No real or fictional Aunt Hildas were harmed in the writing of this article, though I am sure someone has an Aunt Hilda, I do not.  Nor am I this shallow, give me some credit people.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Autumnal Invocation

Image
Fall, I have fallen for you.   This is my prayer to celebrate this triumphant occasion.   Oh, the bounties that thou hast provided this illustrious juncture lifts my heart and fills my soul with joy as I look upon thee and the blessings thou doth bring.   My cup runneth over, for the autumnal splendor that explodes upon me is more than I can contain.   I pray thee well, oh mother of nature, for thou hast provided us this season of thanks and giving. My dear, glorious, beautiful division of periods set between the warmth of summer and chill of winter, thou hast brought me so many things for which I am grateful.   I want to thank thee openly - for the world to see, read, and hear.   I shout my gratitude to the heavens and feel it burning in my bossom. Bountiful grace I extend to thee for the bringing of the football, for it fills my everlasting presence with a happiness unmeasurable by the accounting of man.   I thank thee for the oblong t...
Read more

February – It Almost Wasn’t a Month

Image
Yup, we are going back to February, there was more you needed to know. If you are looking for a few words on Valentine’s Day, there, you just got them.  I have decided to spare us all the pain and agony of reading another article about the love day, hard pass.  Instead let’s focus on February itself.  As you may or may not know, February is the second month of the year, it also has an “r” which makes no sense to me.  I mean it’s like Wednesday with its rogue “dn” messing with everything we know about English. Now let’s get to the real meat and potatoes of the whole thing – where does the word February even come from?  Well, here it is: February was named after the Latin word februum, which means purification because the month was a time for purification – don’t ask me, I didn’t come up with this. This is actually quite interesting because the Old English word for February is Solmonath.  Why is this interesting?  Well for starters Solmonath is...
Read more